


Where I Wanna Be

by orphan_account



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Kadar being rebellious, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-18 03:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2333987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malik was a rebel in his youth. His life marked by the punk-rock movement.<br/>But now... now he's 24, studying and trying to get his life together. Badly, his brother Kadar is in the same phase now, being rebellious and a little out of control (at least for their mother).<br/>Kadar tries to bring his brother back to the "good old times". Opening wounds again with his actions...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by the song 'Where I wanna be' by Itchy Poopzkid.  
> I do not own the AC characters, they belong to Ubisoft (c).
> 
> This is the first time I'm writing this kind of fiction, but I hope you enjoy it anyway ~

He was always a child full of power and energy.  
His mother can proof it.  
It started all on that day his father bought a “Sex Pistols” record. He listened to it after work, everyday. Malik enjoyed the beat, the tune, the voice. His mother was always against it because “they use inappropriate language for a child in that age”. But his father never cared. “If he loves it let him be.” He patted Malik’s head then and smiled fondly. “There’s nothing wrong with your boy being a little rebellious.”

“Yeah yeah,” his mum moaned in annoyance back then and winked her husband’s word off.  
Sometimes she didn’t really care. Malik was more a father’s child.  
His love for this kind of music rose together with his age. Still at the age of 8, when his brother was born, he didn’t fully understand what the front singer was always singing about. But he cared not a bit. It was just the tune that got him.

Malik visited the 3rd grade of elementary school then, as the new kid joined. It was a silent boy who had his hands hid in his pockets most of the time. Of course he got to sit besides Malik. But he didn’t bother. “Hi, I am Malik,” he introduced himself, fully enthusiastic and with a fat grin on his lips. “…hi” the other kid replied, his gaze meeting the table. 

It didn’t seem as if the new kid was just being mean. Malik thought he was just shy. So he tried again.  
“Hi, I am Malik”, the grin not so exaggerated this time. The new kid lifted his head and his goldish eyes met the charcoal-black of Malik’s. The look was piercing and Malik swallowed hard.

The stare on him felt like an eternity until the new one finally reached out his hand. “The name’s Altair.” Malik was a little sceptical towards him, but he shook his hand anyway, just to be polite.

Altair, as it turned out, had the same interest in punk-rock music as Malik had. They both got along well, and together they caused twice the trouble.  
Altair visited Malik often. He already was something like a family member in Malik’s view. His father liked his son’s new friend and his mother was just happy that her son finally found some kid to play with.  
For Malik, his life couldn’t be better at this point.

___

“Honey, do you wanna keep this? I have no use for them,” his mum interrupted his memory by poking his side and handing over more records. Malik looked up from the “Sex Pistols” record his father brought back then.  
He shrugged and looked back to the cover of the disk in his hands.

“It’d be a pity to throw them away.” She sighed and laid them into the ‘No need’ box. 

Malik was 24 by now and finally… finally got a place in the university he had been applying now for years.

This was the reason why he had to move out. Of course his mother first protested and offered him to stay longer. But Malik knew he had to get his life together now. Alone.

“You should keep this too”, she handed him an album with childhood memories. Photos, drawings, bad test with ridiculous answers; everything was in it.

“No. You can keep it, mom.” His mother just sighed at him and laid the album into the ‘Not wanted but I don’t throw it away’ box.

The most furniture was already in Malik’s new apartment. What were missing were just the small things. It was hard at some point to decide if he wants to keep the thing or not. Well, a lot memories were connected to certain things. But some were too painful to remember.  
“Aww look at this,” he suddenly heard his mother squeaking behind his back. 

She was holding up a picture. It showed Malik and Kadar, as well as Altair.  
Malik shook his head immediately at it. “Rubbish”, was the only thing he said.  
“But Malik…” “away with it.”

His mother was visibly confused but accepted her son’s reaction. (She put it into the ‘Not wanted but I don’t throw it away’ box anyway).

So the packing was mostly complete by now. The last step was to carry the boxes into the car and bring them to Malik’s apartment.  
His mother tried to lift one full packed box, but Malik got it for her instead. “They’re too heavy for you. I can do it, don’t worry.”  
She smiled fondly, and turned around as she recognized muffled footsteps making their way through the room.

“Dammit, Kadar!” The boy stopped immediately and tilted his head slowly to face his mother’s vicious-filled eyes.  
“Umm- hi mum.” Was all he brought out as he tried to escape his destiny.

“Young boy, move your lazy butt here, now.” Her tone was strict and her face looked more like a mask.

Kadar rolled his eyes and moved… direction kitchen. “Kadar!”  
“You can’t tell me what to do.”

Malik noticed how helpless his mother felt right now and laid a hand on her shoulder. “I got this,” his voice was soft and calming.  
He walked to the kitchen, where he saw his little brother getting an ice pack out of the freezer and holding it then against his ear.

He almost let the pack fly through the room as he saw his big brother standing in the doorway.  
“By God, Malik. Don’t you scare me like this.” As Kadar wanted to pass Malik, he got a hold on Kadar’s hand. The one holding the ice pack. The boy jerked in surprise and the cold item landed on the ground. “What the fuck, Malik?!”  
“Oh brother,” Malik shook his head in disbelief. His brother’s ear was scarlet red and it seemed to pulse. “How many time did I told you to go to a professional if you want to get pierced.”

Kadar quickly got that ice pack back to his ear and left without a word.  
Their mother was still shouting the younger brother’s name, but of course he didn’t react to his mother’s yelling.

“Kadar,” Malik’s voice stopped him. “At least, would you help me with the boxes? They’re too heavy for mother to carry.”

The boy came back and looked with his big icy blue eyes at his big brother. “Only”, he started to hiss,”only when you tell mom noting about this.” He made a head move to the right, where his ear got pierced by an amateur.  
“Oh I got this, don’t worry.” Malik had an amused smile on his lips and ordered Kadar to put the ice pack back.

 

Their mother was already waiting. She felt so ignored at she even grew anger towards Malik. But she got interrupted by Kadar’s pain filled screams.  
“Malik STOP! HOW DARE YOU! Malik… this h-hurts like a bitch!”  
Malik walked back into the living room, pulling Kadar on his injured ear beside him.  
“Let go of me, butthead!” the boy’s scream was so high pitched that Malik let go of him, fearing his own ear to hurt now. 

Kadar fell down on his knees and held both hands tight against his right ear. He was not crying, just breathing heavy under the pain.

“Go get an ice pack then and stop whining,” his brother said in a friendly voice. Kadar hated it when Malik was being the sarcastic asshole, and Malik knew that he hated it.

“I will have my revenge,” he growled as he left to get back the ice pack.

“How am I going to handle the boy without you, Malik?” his mother sighed deeply and her eyes followed the cursing Kadar until he was out of sight. His cursing still audible.


	2. Chapter 2

Malik’s apartment was not big, but big enough for him alone. The location was just perfect.  
He was able to reach the uni by a 10 minutes walk and his work place was two streets further behind the studying facility. 

His car was rarely needed. And even though he lived downtown, it was surprisingly quiet on some days.  
He put out one box after another and carried them in.  
It was not really much, because he got rid off the most things. “Unnecessary ballast”, he told Kadar as he asked him in disbelief why his brother wants to throw away all those things.

“How dare you!?” he yelled in shock after he saw that Malik put dad’s old records into the ‘No need’ box. “Malik, how dare you treating these with so much disrespect!?” 

He sighed then and just meant that Kadar wouldn’t understand.  
But it was not the first time Kadar was over emotional over a record. It was so ridiculous. 

 

One day after Malik returned after a concert (far too late) he was destroying some of his disks in fury. Kadar never saw his brother that angry and depressed and angry at the same time.  
He never has told what happened. It’d be his never told secret.  
Malik was a different man after this happened.  
That was six years ago.

 

Now he was concentrating on his studies… psychology. It had fascinated him for so long. So his decision what he’d be going to do after college was pretty easy to choose.

He got all his stuff in his apartment now and put everything on its right place.  
Malik tried to avoid chaos. And he managed to avoid it.

It was Friday, his free day off (uni and work, what he really appreciated). He let himself fall onto the couch and laid his feet up onto the small coffee table. Then he put his hands back to his head and looked around.  
Malik let out a deep satisfied breath as he started at the ceiling. He just wanted to make a comment about how calm it is, but that would break mentioned calmness. So he said nothing.

He kept lying in this pose ‘til the exhaustion of the past days hit him and he slowly felt asleep.

 

There was a loud knock on his door. And then again. Heavy knocking.  
Knock  
Knock  
Knock three knocks in a row before they paused and began again.

Malik woke up from this unbearable annoying sound. Drowsy he heaved himself up and walked in zigzag lines to the door.

He opened a door and expected the neighbour to stand there, ‘just to say hi’ or something.  
But it was Kadar, his eyes filled with anger. His little brother said nothing as he came in like a tornado and kicked the wall.

“Hey! Calm down, brother.” Malik shouted at him and held his shoulder. He was awake now from 0 to 100 and faced his brother with a strict look.

“Mum won’t be let go to the concert tomorrow! She promised I could go, but ‘oh no your last exam was miserable better go learn more on this weekend’. Malik… she does not understand me.”

Malik didn’t knew if he was about to burst out in laughter or hit his brother in the face. Or both. So he raised an eyebrow and his lips moved a ‘what’.

“I thought you’d understand.” Kadar turned from full-of-anger to really-really-desperate.

“Be clear. What exactly is you problem?” “So,” Kadar sat down and mimicked everything he said with his hands, “today we got our maths exams back. And (what a surprise) I did… let’s say I did not that good. And mum, of course, was not amused about it in any way. So she wanted be to study through the weekend and forbid be to go to a concert tomorrow. Can you imagine it?”

Kadar’s concern was so irrelevant to Malik that he already was searching for his mother’s contact on his phone. “I am going to call mum. I guess she’s all concerned about where her baby boy is now.”  
“NO!” a shout came out of Kadar’s lungs as he grabbed Malik’s wrist and pulled the phone out of his hands. “You won’t call anyone now!”

Malik rolled his eyes and frowned at his brother. “Okay, you can stay for the night.”  
His brother’s eyes widened at these words and he let out an uncontrollable laugh.

“Thank you Malik!” he hugged his big brother, who patted his head. “It’s okay. Kadar… I said…okay. Get off me.”  
The boy didn’t let go. Malik just smiled and poked Kadar’s right ear. The boy’s reaction was hiss filled with pain and Malik earned a glare. 

Both of them said nothing. Malik suited that just fine. He was pleased by Kadar shutting his mouth now finally. But of course this wouldn’t last long.  
Already after five minutes the blue eyed boy groused about being hungry.

Such a difficult child.

“If you’re hungry go order yourself a pizza”, was all he said. 

And after the pizza man arrived, Kadar really shut up for quite a long time. He threw himself in front of Malik’s PC monitor and ate pizza while watching some videos on YouTube.

 

“Hey Mal,” he began again after some time.  
Malik moaned in annoyance and didn’t even bother to look up from his book to turn to Kadar. “What. Is. It?”

“Y’know I discovered a badass band. And, oh what a surprise, they’re giving a concert tomorrow and, oh even bigger surprise, I have tickets for it.”  
The boy grinned like an idiot and Malik knew tat Kadar had to be thinking quite a lot before he asked him.

“No”, was all he answered. “But Malik”, “Stop your ‘but Malik’ I said no.”  
“But please… at least check them out. After you know them you do want to go with me.”

He had to think about it for a little time. But whatever, he just wanted him to show a band. That’s all.

“I knew you couldn’t resist”, and the sass in his words was nearly touchable. “I swear. They’re the best I’ve heard in a while.” 

‘Yeah, sure’ was all what Malik thought now. Kadar seemed to be very exited to show them to Malik. The band’s name was ‘Assassin’s Creed’ and they were labeled as ‘punk-rock’ band. They were new indeed. Just founded a year ago.

Malik put on the headphones Kadar gave him and listened concentrated.  
His face went from neutral- to not bad- to wait a minute. With empty eyes he took off the headphones. Kadar felt that his brother was shaky, because he wasn’t able to control his shaky hand.  
Malik bit his lower lip in thoughts. He stared into no where, breathing heavily, biting his lip ‘til he tasted the metallic flavour of blood.

He wanted to move, to go away. But his legs stood solid. His muscled didn’t allow him to move an inch.  
Hollow. Yeah, that’s how you could describe his state.

“Um, Mal?” Kadar carefully poked his cheek, being a little concerned about his brother’s reaction. 

After the second poke Malik finally turned his head to Kadar. His eyes were wet but he fought against the tears.  
“No way in hell you are going to see them!”  
Malik pushed his brother away and walked with big steps into his bedroom.

“But Malik, please!” “I said stop you ‘but Malik’. I said no!”

Kadar didn’t care if Malik did not want to go. He would make him go.  
Well… he already bought the tickets.


	3. Chapter 3

Malik wasn’t always so… calm. He used to be more enthusiastic and dedicated to what he does and what he wanted to do.

When he was 14, he had to change school. Not just because he got bullied by those cruel, stupid, brainwashed people for saying and standing up for his opinions, but also for…well, saying and standing up for his opinions. 

But he couldn’t care less. His father always said that Malik was a special kid, and he liked it that his son represented his opinions. 

What was really surprising about the school change, was the fact that Altair (his ‘til there only friend) stood in the classroom’s doorway. Standing there like he had when Malik first saw him. He was silent, hands deep in his pockets, facing no one. 

Alike six years back, he got the seat beside Malik. It was such a grotesque scene. Malik chuckled and held his hand out. “Hi I am Malik”, Altair looked up to face Malik’s face and let out a silent giggle. That made Malik grin even more, because moments where Altair smiled were rare and Malik always enjoyed that crooked smile of Altair. It looks like his face was unused to this emotion.

It often happened now that Altair came to Malik’s place after school. Malik’s mother always was concerned what Altair’s parents would think about that, but he always replied with a “They’re fine with this”. So she never dug any deeper into this topic. 

___

“Malik! C’mon, you act like a teenage girl. Come out, now!” Kadar knocked on Malik’s locked bedroom door. “This is so fucked up man. Malik, you make me sound like mum.”

Malik didn’t react.

Kadar let out a deep sigh and leaned his back against the door. “I’m sorry for forcing you to come with me.” The boy tried to sound as sad as possible.  
Because a crying baby brother always did the trick.

“I just. I just wanted to spend some time with my only brother. I thought you’d enjoy going to a concert with me…” he made his best fake-sob and forced himself to tears.  
“Malik”, Kadar’s voice was hoarse.

It was hard to Malik to focus on something else than Kadar’s voice. He was always too over protective over his little brother.  
Malik moved his body up from his bed and unlocked the door. The first thing he saw was Kadar’s tears-soaked face. He knew his brother didn’t cry because of sadness or something. He pulled on his ear to force himself to.

But. That. Face.

“Do you have two tickets?”  
Kadar looked up and wiped his fake tears away. “Malik!” he cheered and wrapped his brother into a violent hug. “You don’t know how happy this makes me!”

“You haven’t answered my question.”  
“Of course I have, dumbass.” He took two tickets out off his pockets and held them to Malik’s face.

That vicious little devil.

___

Malik made things clear with his mother (she was dying out of concern) and she was more relieved that her baby boy was still alive than angry at him that he ran off in the first place.

Kadar was damn excited for tonight. He jumped around Malik’s apartment like a bouncing ball and was already preparing his voice.  
Of course his big brother wasn’t amused at all. But he also didn’t give a reason why he feels so uncomfortable about it. Or why he didn’t like the band.  
Kadar cared not a little. The most important thing was that Malik was coming with him.

And the late hour came closer.

Malik felt how his breath became irregular with every kilometre they drove. Unlike Kadar, who seemed to become more and more excited. Malik even feared for a second that his brother would fade out or something. Luckily he didn’t.

As they stood in the waiting line, Malik felt dizzy and his vision went black for a short moment. He held Kadar’s shoulder to get a hold on something. Something solid that won’t leave him here alone.  
“Relax, bro”, Kadar said, patting Malik’s head.

But how could he relax? 

As they finally stood in the crowd (third front line) Malik enjoyed not one second. The people around him were freaking out and danced to the pre-band, singing along the lyrics (Kadar too. Wow that kid freaked out). 

Malik felt so damn uncomfortable he nearly puked on his front man’s head. 

And then… they finally stepped onto the stage.  
Everyone lost their mind. It was so crazy, Malik thought. That band exists for only one year and they’re already so successful? 

Malik’s thoughts were disturbed by Kadar making his way up to Malik’s shoulders.  
He let him and the only reason Malik let him was because he wanted his brother to enjoy and feel this moment.  
He knew himself how awful it is when someone is spoiling a great moment…

Anyway, as the band stood there, just a few metres away from him, Malik felt nothing but panic.

Pure panic.

The front singer introduced himself to the crowed (as if no-one would know him) and the rest of the members.

Malik stood total still. Facing the man on the stage. Saying nothing for a brief moment, hands hid deep in pockets, looking on the stage-floor.

That was it. Enough.  
He put Kadar down. Well he didn’t mind, he was freaking out like anyone else.  
But Malik’s hands built fists. His stomach filled with anger, and pure hate.

Not minding his surrounding, he fought his way to the stage, pushing and punching people out of his way. But he didn’t get far. One of the security men grabbed his arm and pushed him away, sending him the ‘better-stay-off’-glare. 

As if Malik would care. He got a hold on the security’s shoulder and wanted to step over, but he didn’t make it too far, because the man wasn’t just bigger but also stronger than him (what Malik felt now…the pain).

The next thing that happened to Malik was him being thrown out.  
God was he angry. He kicked a trashcan and was shouting and swearing and punching the wall, letting his pain out through a scream.

It was just like back then. The night where he came back too late and destroyed half of his belongings.

Yeah, he felt like this right now. Malik felt tired after all the screaming. He was lucky enough that no one called a police to report a mad man running around freely.  
Kadar would somehow manage to come back home, he thought. His brother always found a way to get what he wants. 

So Malik trotted back to his car. His throat felt sore and he was cold and empty.  
This was just TOO much for him. Way too much.

In silence he started the engine, and waited ‘til the car’s heater made it all warm and comfy.

But it didn’t help. He was still cold.  
Whatever…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally get a story here.


	4. Chapter 4

Malik sat on his couch, zapping through the late night TV program. His heart was beating mad and he still felt cold (even the tea didn’t help warming him up).  
Why did he even agree with Kadar to go to that stupid concert? Why? Why was he so mindless about it?  
“Fuck it”, he let out with a deep sigh and stood up to go to the kitchen. While walking he put a blanket over his shoulders.  
A new cup of tea was needed. His eyes met the watch. 1 am, Kadar should start to search for someone to take him here by now. But Malik didn’t really care.

With the full steaming cup he went back to the couch. Nothing was on TV, so he decided to watch some documentary about medieval Jerusalem. 

It was pretty interesting. Malik leaned back and put his feet up. Sipping slowly on the hot tea.

Time passed fast. It was already 3 am as Kadar’s singing was heard in the staircase.  
“Goddang it Kadar.” He got up to pick up his brother, who hardly managed to climb the stairs. Oh he was drunk. And how he was…

“Heeeyy Malik ~” he sang and it echoed through the whole building. Malik pulled his brother up and pushed him into his apartment. “Hey, not so rough!” Kadar got a hold on a chair. He was staggering his way to the couch, where he felt on without any balance.

For a few minutes it was silent.

“What a lame movie, Mal.” Malik rolled his eyes and got a seat beside Kadar. His young brother wrapped his arms around his arm and hummed. “Ouh Malik… it was soooo perfect!”  
The hold on his arm got tighter.

“Eventhough I am mad at you for attacking that meatball security guy… I forgive you!” Kadar pulled himself up and pulled Malik into a tight hug.  
“You will never g-guess what happened!” he was still singing his words out, mixed with a mumble. 

Malik didn’t even bother do ask.  
He simply didn’t care.

“Malik… Oi! Malik!” “Hmm?” he looked into his brothers blue dim eyes. 

“Go ahead…” his voice was barely a whisper and his words were just breathed out, a bit whiny. 

“It was just soooo amazing! Well, you really fucked up, did you? But Malik, that’s okay. Because you drew the attention to”, he moved (or at least tried it) a finger to his cheek. “Me.  
That was so neat. The band invited me backstage… BACKSTAGE can you imagine it?”

“Kadar”, Malik pulled him away. “I’m not deaf. You can be quieter.”

“Oh…

 

Weeeeell. Then they offered to drive me home because, my brother was being an asshole and just drove off without me. But Malik, don’t worry, I already forgave you. Anyway, they got me here and on the way we had a nice talk. These guys are so cool, Malik I don’t know what you have against them.  
But I haven’t told you the best.” Kadar made a break and stared into Malik’s tired eyes.

He then leaned closer to his big brother’s ear and whispered: “Altair was one of them.”  
Malik cringed at that name and pushed Kadar violently away.

“But Malik!” “SHUT THAT ‘BUT MALIK’!” Rapidly he moved up, back turned to Kadar.  
“Don’t you mention this name in my presence. Never, again.”  
His voice was shaky and it doesn’t matter how hard he tried, he could hold the tears back any longer.

Kadar reached out for his blanket and pulled lightly. “Mal, I am… hella drunk.” 

Malik’s muscled smoothened and he knew that Kadar just wanted to sleep now. Stupid drunk teenagers.

“You can sleep in my bed”, he said without looking at his brother. This did as Malik offered and made his way to his brother’s bedroom (his walking looked hilarious Malik had to admit).

And he just leaned back to the couch, putting out his phone and searching for his mother’s contact. He knew she’d be awake. That was her nature. Staying awake forever just to get a life sign from her boys. Malik wouldn’t let her wait any longer.

She picked up faster than he supposed her to.

“Hi mum. Don’t worry, we’re fine. Kadar’s already asleep. Yeah he did enjoy it… no of course he has been a good boy….. Yes that was just a lie.

Okay, I’ll take care. Good night mum. …. Love back.”

___

The concert was already some days ago and Malik managed it to get himself together.

He just got out of uni and was now at the diner not far away for work.  
Today was such a calm day. There were not many people; these were the days where he enjoyed being a waiter. Less people meant less stress. And less stress meant a good-mood-Malik. And a good-mood-Malik meant more tips. 

Yeah, today was that day. 

During his break he checked his phone. Besides a message from Kadar saying ‘Hey bro. I’ll be later at the diner. Better serve me’ (ugh yeah, sure Kadar) was also a missed call.  
Number unknown.

Malik was sceptical. But because the person just called one time he deleted it. The caller probably got the wrong number.

The day continued with being good for Malik. Even the new employee was motivated as hell. Aveline was her name. Such a cute little thing. She just worked here for one week and the customers already loved her.

Malik liked her too. 

Not in a romantic way. It was just impossible not to like her.

“Hey Malik, you’re alight?” she came over to help him with an order. “Yeah, I’m good.”  
She smiled fondly at him. “Good. I was concerned a little because you seem to be so quiet today.”

“Don’t you worry.” He smiled back and walking off to bring the order to his customer.

 

About one hour later the diner was nearly empty. Just two men sat there still, having their dinner after a work day.

By this time Kadar walked in. But not alone.

Three men followed him. They all got a seat in a corner of the diner and well… Kadar looked freaking excited.

Malik was already too exhausted to care about his brother’s friends now. Aveline was so kind to take their orders. What a sweet soul, Malik thought.

Aveline gave the orders to the chef and prepared the drinks. While she did this, she used the spare time to talk to Malik.

“Your brother asked for you. He says it’s really important.” 

“If it’s really that important he can also move his lazy ass over here. I don’t need to talk with him about super important things with his friends’ presence.”

“But”, she put the glasses on a tablet and continued, “one of them wanted to see you too.”

“What?” 

Aveline smiled and handed him the tablet over. “It seemed to be important. Don’t worry I’ll take care of the rest.” She winked and pushed Malik gently forward.

So he brought the drinks, huh? No big deal… if the people sitting with Kadar wouldn’t be these stupid band members of this stupid band!

He froze. 

Kadar waved over to him. “Hey waiter! These are for us!”

Oh Kadar… oh Kadar what have you done.

Malik did his job and brought the tablet with the drinks to the four guys. His heart was racing and his hands were shaky. He nearly let the tablet with the drinks fall over. Luckily he could handle himself for a moment.

Oh fuck.

Those eyes… they were staring at him. Those. Goldish. Eyes.

“Hi”, the man said. The other two unknown males probably wanted to do the same.  
But Malik didn’t let them. “Don’t talk to me…” he hissed with a dark face. Trying to control his shaky voice.

Without saying anything else or even looking back he rushed away.

His co-worker was visibly confused. But Aveline managed to settle things with the customers and promised Malik to take care of everything. He should take a few days off if he felt bad.

So he did.

Taking a few days off…


	5. Chapter 5

Malik just turned 18. 

There was no big birthday party. Malik’s dad was terminally ill and it’d be just inappropriate he thought.  
Also he didn’t really had friends. He just had Altair.

And he was not helping at all.  
Altair was missing in school more often and rarely picked up his phone. Great. Not even his only friend was interested in him.

When he’s in school (what was a miracle at that time) he always had dumb excuses. Malik stopped bothering at listening to them. They were just really dumb.

On this day he sat alone in the cafeteria. Well, he often sat alone, but not in the cafeteria. The food was not as good as mum’s lunch box.

But now she was too concerned over her husband to do anything.

And Malik was a big boy anyway.

“Oi! Malik!” someone shouted through the whole room. How awkward.

“This would be the last place I’d look for you.” It was Altair. He took a seat in front of Malik and grinned viciously.

“What do you want?” 

“First”, he took Malik’s hands and looked with a glimmer in his eyes at him. Altair’s behaviour was always strange, but this… people already had a wrong image of them.

He cleaned his throat and continued, “I am really, really sorry that I missed your birthday.”  
The grin of his disappeared and he looked shyly away.  
“I want to apologize. But in a special way.”

Malik raised an eyebrow in confusion. He tried to free his hands from Altair’s hold and was visibly uncomfortable.  
“Altair… they’re watching.”

“But Malik… why do you care so much? Really. You start to worry way too much about things. That’s so unlike you.”

“I do not care,” he pulled his hands away and glared angry at his friend. “I am just annoyed by all the letters on my locker saying ‘faggot’ and ‘butt-fucker’.” 

Altair rolled his eyes, followed by a smile. With one hand move he reached something out of his school bag.

It were tickets. Altair proudly waved them to Malik’s nose and his smile grew bigger while doing this.

“You and me, tonight.”  
He whispered, because he knew this would be uncomfortable for Malik.

Malik’s eyes widened same with his mouth. 

“W-where do you got them from?”

“Well, I bought them?”

“Yeah but that shit is sold out for three months!”

“I have my methods.” The smirk on his face made Malik shut up. He didn’t even want to know.

He took one of the tickets and looked at it. “Wait, it’s tonight.”  
“Yeah, that’s just what I said smartass,” Altair let out a giggle.

“Tonight I’m out.”

“What?!” the shock was audible in his voice (it was also a little more high pitched).

“I’m visiting my dad…”

Altair said nothing. He exhaled in a “Meeeeh~” and drummed on the table with his fingertips.

After some minutes of silence he began to talk again. “You could visit him after the concert…?”

“Would be too late.”

“Hmmmmhmhmhm…. What about, we just go earlier?”

Malik shut up and thought about that so obvious suggestion. “Well, that could work out.”  
Altair threw his arms up in triumph. 

“I’ll pick you up, darling.” He leaned forward and grinned at Malik.

With a blush he hissed at him: “This is not a date.”

“Technically.”  
___

Malik sat in his kitchen, put his head on his arms and laid there on the table.  
He had cried recently. And now he was too weak to do anything.

So exhausted.  
So tired.

The past weeks had been too much for him. And for him Kadar was to blame. Because Malik needed someone to blame.

His mobile was buzzing again. 7 calls, he counted ‘til now.

7 calls missed.

7 calls from an unknown number.

His fingers felt like ice as he wrapped them around his phone and looked at all the missed calls.  
One was from Kadar, followed by 3… no now 4 messages. This always meant that he was on his way to Malik. Doesn’t matter if he was wanted or not.

Tired he typed in ‘come alone’.

And so Kadar did.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” were the first words his brother shouted at him as he entered the apartment. “I thought that you’re going to be super happy to see Altair again, but nope. You just draw a tail and disappear. Malik, you made me look like an idiot.”  
His brother was super serious about this.

Malik said nothing. Even though Kadar wanted it, Malik had no interest in arguing with him.

“Kadar… it’s okay.” He said weepy and laid one hand on his brother’s shoulder to calm him down, and to get a hold on something.

“I would highly appreciate it if you stop saying this name.”

“But Malik,” Malik cringed, “the guy’s desperately trying to talk to you.”  
“Wait… WHAT?”

He looked at his phone. Another 3 missed calls.  
Oh no.

“Kadar,” he hissed threatening. His eyes were bewildered and he felt dizzy as he slowly put the pieces together.

“No, Kadar… NO!”  
“Well, I wasn’t giving it to a stranger…”

“Why do you give him my phone number? And, oh let me guess, he knows where I live too, right?”

Kadar lowered his shoulders and avoided Malik’s piercing eyes.  
“Well, it might be that he’s standing outside…”

Malik wanted to shout, shout out of full lungs. And he wanted to break something, break the whole apartment if needed.

But he couldn’t. He freezed and he suddenly was mute. His vision got black for a moment and he was searching for something to hold himself on.

The only thing he felt right now, was emptiness. His body wasn’t even in the condition to produce tears. So Malik just stood there.  
Staring into nowhere.

Malik just moved his hand to take his phone. It was buzzing.  
He said nothing as he pressed the green icon, he just listened.

“Malik?” Malik’s heart felt as if it would stop beating. “Hey Malik… may I get in?” he nodded. Wasn’t able to make a sound.

“Y’know Malik, I can’t see you shaking or nodding your head.” The man sounded shy and had a kind of sadness in his voice.

“…Malik. May I come in?”

 

“Yeah”, he finally managed to bring out off his sore throat. “Second floor.”


	6. Chapter 6

They were sitting in Malik’s kitchen, facing each other. Already for 10 minutes. And no one dared to say anything.

Kadar was sitting in the living room and waited for one of them to finally talk.  
But still, nothing.

The atmosphere was tense as hell and Malik couldn’t look up to the man in front of him. His heart was torn and he was too empty to cry or scream or sigh or anything.

Altair stared, stared at Malik with the expression of a kicked puppy. His eyes begged for a conversation. He had his hands on the table while Malik tried to hide his under it.  
Altair cleared his throat and made an attempt to begin a conversation. For the third time now, Kadar has counted.

It was ridiculous. “Get your shit together, Malik.” Kadar shouted to the kitchen as he made his way out of the room. “I want a result when I’m back. If needed, I’ll lock you both up here.”  
He smashed the door and just left. The whole situation was too much for him. The behaviour of his brother was inexplicable for him. 

So they two sat there now alone. Malik still avoiding eye contact with Altair. And well, avoiding him in general.

Now Altair lost his patience. “Malik we both will never find peace if we won’t work something out.” He reached out for Malik, his hand making a welcoming gesture.  
“Please, let me explain myself.”

“You already explained yourself six years ago with ruining my life…” Malik whispered behind his teeth.  
“This is unforgiveable.”

The other man rolled his eyes and grabbed Malik’s hand from under the table. “Then let me at least talk to you.”

“You just disappeared.”

“There was a reason.”

“No life sign.”

“I’ll tell you why.”

“…leaving me behind, alone.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

Malik chewed on his lower lip to hold back a cry. Finally he moved his head up to look into the man’s golden eyes. His eyes were wet same as Malik’s. Altair was bad at pretending an emotion. So Malik knew this was real… he was actually crying.  
He joined him.

With hoarse voice Malik tried to form some words. “You know, how hard this time was for me? I needed you.”

“Malik, believe me, I needed you too.”

“So why didn’t you just stay?”

Altair wet his lips before answering under tears. “I couldn’t. And I regret not talking to you earlier.” The grab on Malik’s hand got tighter. “Just tell me Altair,” Malik lifted Altair’s head with two fingers and got his eyes fixed on him.  
“Why did you have to leave me?”

 

___

“Malik! Would you kindly come here please?” It was his mother shouting from down the living room.   
“On my way,” he headed down to meet Altair’s gaze. He smiled at him when Malik’s mother wasn’t looking.

“Why is he here? Explain!”   
“He’s taking me out for a concert, mum. Don’t worry, I’ll meet you later at the hospital.”  
“Boy, you are what?”  
“Mum, times are hard for me too, I need some distraction,” Malik said and waved ‘goodbye’ as he walked out with his friend.

They took Malik’s car, because Altair was a little too young for it.   
Altair was talking non-stop on their way. Malik just tried to focus on driving, what was quite hard since Altair stroke his leg and just started. Now Malik wished he would start to talk again.  
Not that he had something against it… it was just uncomfortable for him.

“Altair… would you please,” “Oh,” he took his hand back, “I’m sorry…” Altair looked shyly away with a blush. Unnoticed by Malik because of the darkness that filled the car.

When they were half way there, Altair again started to talk. “Malik, you can park near my apartment. Then we’ll get a place and I don’t live too far from it.”  
Malik raised an eyebrow and looked confused at him as they stood at the red traffic light.  
“There is just one problem,” “and this would be?”  
“I know you now for 10 years. But I never visited you.”  
“Right…” Altair blushed even more.  
“I won’t question it. Just say where to drive and I’ll bring us there.”

Altair’s instructions were clear enough for Malik to follow and find that house Altair lived in.  
Malik was surprised. In all this years he never was at Altair’s home. And now he stood here, in front of a big ass house. Why was Altair never mentioning it? 

“The stadium is just two streets further. We’ll be there right in time.”  
Malik got lost of his thoughts as Altair pulled his arm and started walking.  
He followed him.  
Their destination was really not far away and they got in fast, getting one place in the first quarter.  
So far so good.

 

Just for this moment Malik tried to forget about his worries. He became one with the crowd and felt the music playing. Altair did the same. It felt fantastic being in the moment. Living the moment.   
He was screaming the lyrics along the song, which was heard now through the whole stadium.  
But after that, the music stopped, and the best announced the next song.  
‘2,000 Light Years Away’.

Malik looked up to the stage and felt arms being wrapped around his waist.  
Altair moved with the tune pressed Malik closer to him.  
He let him and turned his back to the stage, facing Altair, who opened his eyes now to look into Malik’s.  
Without even thinking Altair pressed his lips on Malik’s. Even though it was a chaste one, he put a lot passion in it.   
Malik let out a silent scream out of surprise. But he let him. This moment was just right.

As he pulled back, Altair licked over his lips. “We should go”, he said with a shaky voice.  
“Already?”   
Altair nodded and took Malik’s arm again.

Ok then.

They fought their way through the crowd, escaping the stadium. Malik was relieved for a moment to be able to breathe fresh air but this short moment was interrupted by Altair pressing him against a wall and trying to kiss him again.

“Wait Altair!” he turned his head. “W-we shouldn’t do this.”  
“But you just let me, why not now?” Altair again tried it.  
“Nnnoo.” 

The gold-eyed male stared at him, lost in his thought. “Okay”, he let out quietly. “Let’s go back.” Altair smiled, piggybacking Malik now. 

Malik wrapped his arms around Altair’s shoulders to get a hold on him. “We left to early”, he sighed.  
“It’s okay Malik.” 

 

Just a few minutes later they arrived at Altair’s house and went in. It was, huge. But Malik couldn’t manage to get an overview oh it because Altair was carrying him up the stairs.

“Altair…. This is a bad idea.” Malik swallowed and followed Altair’s movement in the dim light as he half laid there on his friend’s bed.  
This was so wrong.

“Don’t worry, Malik.” Altair leaned his body over Malik’s.   
It hit Malik like a thunderbolt. Then he hid his face behind his hands, blushing.

“This was your plan, am I right? From the very beginning.”  
Altair chuckled and placed a kiss on Malik’s forehead. “Otherwise I’d never have gotten you here.”

“You just could have asked me out on a real date or something.”

Altair leaned his body closer to Malik’s. “Really? Would it really be that easy?”

He moved a little away from Altair. “Of course not.” He decided to go with Altair’s plan.  
Malik needed someone right now. He was thirsty for it.

“Off with it,” he commanded and gently pulled on his friend’s t-shirt. Altair followed the order, but slowly. Malik didn’t care. He enjoyed this way too much now.  
As Altair finally got his shirt off, Malik pulled on his belt. “Please, just as slowly…”  
Again, Altair obeyed and stood up from the bed. Taking his pants off, slowly and with big movements. 

Malik still sat still on the bed, lost in the moment. He always had a thing for Altair. But he knew everyone would freak the hell out if they knew.  
So they kept it a secret ‘til both of them felt ready to come out.   
They never did this before, never got that intimate. But for Malik it felt right.  
For him, everything was good right now.

Altair just wore his boxers now and kneeled back on the bed. He was dragging slowly on Malik’s pants, until also they were thrown off him.  
Malik still just sat there and watched his buddy doing the job. Having a smile on his face.

Altair crawled up to him and closed the space between them with a kiss. His hand was resting on Malik’s chest, and he pushed gently, letting Malik gasp.   
He took this opportunity to deepen the kiss. Malik welcomed it.

They kept this ridiculous struggle for dominance, but got interrupted.

“What is it?” Malik whimpered and tried to pull back Altair’s head. No, he couldn’t stop now.

But Altair quickly jumped up and searched for his pants on the floor.  
“Altair, what the fuck are you doing?” Malik sat up in the bed and followed the silhouette of his friend. 

Altair quickly took his t-shirt and pants on again and crawled pass Malik to open the window.

“Altair!!” Malik shouted. He stood still for a moment and looked down to him. “Malik…”  
He waited, anger filling his stomach. “…I love you.”

That was it.  
The last Malik heard from him. 

He was confused. And his confusion even grew as he saw light outside the room and heard footsteps coming closer.

In reaction he pulled the blanket over him and faced the man who just came in and switched the light on. His expression went from confusion – to shock – to anger.

“What the hell are you doing in my son’s bed?!”

Malik didn’t know what to answer. He stuttered but couldn’t form proper words.  
“Where is Desmond?!” The man yelled at him.

Desmond? What? Who the hell was that?

The only thing Malik could do now was getting his things together as fast as possible and escape. So he did. The man was furious and yelled the whole house down. As quick as possible he put on all the clothing he was able to get together and climbed out of the still opened window.

“When I get you, you’ll pay for this!” the guy shouted. Luckily he hadn’t got the idea of following Malik.

“Oh Altair…” he got back in the car, “when I’ll get you…”


	7. Chapter 7

Malik and Altair were both sitting now on Malik’s balcony. Both of them had a cup of steaming tea.  
They stared into nowhere, lost in thoughts.

“I remember back then you had your hair dyed in this disgusting orange.” Malik chuckled and took a sip of his tea.

“I had my phase. But I remember you had it done blue.” Altair smiled. “You said it suited my eyes.”

Altair laughed quietly and stared into the cup. “Do you still remember this test we had in grade 9? This ‘which job suits you best’ shit?”

“How could anyone forget it”, Malik said under a giggle.  
“You just stood up in the middle of the test and shouted ‘Fuck this. Malik and I are going to start a band.’”  
His giggle became a laugh.

Altair blushed and laughed along with him.  
“At least for one of us this dream became true.” His eyes met Malik’s and his smile faded.

“We had such a good time, Altair. And we could have a good future too.”  
Malik’s grab tightened around the cup and he chewed on his lower lip. “I lost two loved people in this night…”

“Oh Malik,” Altair let his cup down on the ground and leaned his head on Malik’s shoulder. “I wish I could have stayed.”

“But why, Altair? Why?”  
Malik didn’t dare to meet his gaze. He kept staring and took another sip.

Altair wrapped his arms around Malik now, waiting for him to reject him. But Malik let him.  
“Just tell me why I had to go through this hell.”

Waiting for an answer, he tilted his head so he was nose to nose with Altair now.  
“Y’know that one time I asked your parents if they could adopt me?”

Malik smirked at this memory. “You were so cute.”  
“I was serious.”

“…what?”

“I said, that I was serious back then.” Malik’s eyes widened and he turned back to avoid seeing Altair’s eyes.  
“I never had parents. Never had a family.”

The words Altair said were incomprehensible to Malik. Does that mean “you were an orphan?”

Altair nodded a ‘yes’ and searched for a hold on Malik. “This… this actually explains a lot. But still not the reason why you left without a life sign.”

“Let me explain it to you then.” He kneeled right in front of Malik and laid his hands on Malik’s knees.

“Y’know, I was not of age then and wasn’t able to decide about a lot of things. The institution did it. And they decided to take the older kids and put them all together for ‘preparing them for life’. What is total bullshit of course.”

Malik put his forehead on Altair’s and laid a hand on his neck. “You could have said something. I’d have taken you with me.”

“This was not an option”, Altair whispered.   
“We could have made it one.”

Malik pulled him into a hug and rocked slowly. “Why did you say nothing? We could have found a solution for your situation.”

“Malik… I was afraid.”

He tightened the hug and pressed him closer to him.  
“Altair, my family would’ve never rejected you.” His voice was weak, and barely a whisper. 

Altair answered nothing, just leaned more into the hug as Malik tried to push him away.   
“Don’t let go.” He begged and hid his face in Malik’s chest. “Don’t.”

He accepted Altair’s request and hugged him even tighter. 

“Tell me about your band.” Malik said calmly while stroking over Altair’s hair. He wanted the man to calm down a bit.

“I met six years ago after I left.” “Don’t talk about it anymore.”  
“…ok. So I met them and we got along well. Well I guess you already saw them. Ezio- I don’t give a fuck about punctuality- Auditore, and Connor- I play the drums like a god- Kenway.”

On Malik’s lips appeared a smile as he listened to Altair’s story.

“It was pure chaos! No one had a clue about what they’re doing. But Malik, it was fun. And this feeling when you all manage to perform a whole song without a mistake, is one of the best in the world.”

Malik laid his head on Altair’s shoulder and breathed his scent in. He lost himself in Altair’s words and kept rocking slowly.

All the anger was gone. The only thing that mattered now was Altair, and his presence made Malik forget about all his worries.   
“You deserve it,” he suddenly whispered. “I’m glad you had a good time.”

Altair put his hands on Malik’s arms and smiled like an idiot.

They both sat there in a comfortable silence. 

“You know what my dad last said to me?”  
Altair looked up to him to hold a hand to his mouth. “Don’t talk about it if it makes you sad.”

Malik smirked and put Altair’s hand away. “Well, he said ‘If you find a thing you love, you never let it go.” While speaking he heaved Altair up his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist. “And I will do it this time.”

Altair chuckled under tears and turned towards Malik. “I hope we both can do it.”  
He placed a soft kiss on his lips.   
“Malik, where you are, this is where I wanna be.”

-end-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry that it was so short, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway ~


End file.
